april listings!! very much a jetsetting month

friday 2nd april (two days time from this post!) - voodoo rooms, edinburgh! for itsy kabarett!

incredibly excited about this one, haven’t been to scotland for a show in ages…

april 8th - cantada 2. paris, france.

april 9th - supporting the tiger lillies @ the new theatre royal, portsmouth. uk

april 14th - the slipper room, new york city - USA!

april 17th - wasteland fetish party, amsterdam. holland.

april 23rd - badlands fetish party @ spearmint rhino, bournemouth. uk

april 24th - the old rep theatre, birmingham. uk

april 25th - ooh la la @ the bierkeller, bristol. uk

phhhhheeww.

will post long rambly blog soon… its been too long. and too much has happened

love and kittens..

JB

<3

And so we drawwwwww the final curtaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiin.

2009 is over.
And naturally - here comes the blog to go “OH LOOK! 2009 IS OVER! ISN’T THIS INSPIRATIONAL!?”

So, I will put the number of thank you messages and relevant stuff first, then rambling afterwards. So if you just wish to see all the nice wonderful thank you messages, you can read on and will be warned before I try to sound clever and deep. So you can click the little x in the top right to avoid reading such drivel.

2009 has been such a year…
Never has so much changed in one year for me (except those 9 months in the womb. That was quite a year)
And probably the year I went through puberty too. That was quite a good one
BUT OTHER THAN THOSE TWO!

It fills me with joy to look back on the year, to see how far I have progressed
Previous years were like running on the spot. Doing nice things, but never really charging forward with the good intentions for where I wanted to take myself.
Without certain people, I wouldn’t have had such a successful year…
And would not be in the position I am now…
There are so many people to say thank you to, so if I forget you. I am very sorry! But I was probably thinking of you, while I sat here, sipping tea. And trying to churn out this blog before 2009 ends!!

So, here they are…

David TG - Torture Garden.
Thank you so very much David for booking me at Torture Garden… so many many many times. And putting up with my many questions, and my talking quickly. And my talking mainly crap.
Your support, and the support of Torture Garden has really helped me in setting my feet into the London cabaret scene.

So on that note. A lovely picture of us at Torture Garden, with Martyn Jacques of the Tiger Lillies there too. Drunk.
This was taken after you both said you’d like to adopt me.
As Viktoria said, I am the son of David. And apparently now… son of Martyn too!

In short. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.

TADA!

Kittie Klaw & James Malach - The Ministry of Burlesque.

You took me out for tea and cake in London. And I’ve never looked back since!
So very supportive, and so much fun to be around.
High Tease in Bath still remains one of my fondest show memories, before the show, during the show, afterwards, and even the day after!

Thank you so much, for welcoming me into the Ministry of Burlesque family.

Alix Fox & Alllllll the folk at Bizarre Magazine.

Alix Fox, how I love thee.
Not only have you and the magazine been so very supportive of me and my strange exploits. But Alix, has been a wonderful friend. A very new friend, but one that brightens my day whenever we natter.

<3 thank you.

Marcella Puppini!

We haven’t know each other very long. But you’ve been such an inspiration (whether you were aware of it or not!) to really take this up to the next level, with what I do.
The chats we’ve had in such a small amount of time - across coffee shop tables, in dressings rooms, while eating crackers and drinking inoffensive tea at your kitchen table. Made me realise how much further there is to go with this, and the work that comes into it.

This picture makes me smile.

Thank you so much.

Eurgh… its getting so late now. And I want to just curl up in bed
But I must finish this. I MUST have this written before 2009 is up!!

So yeah - special mentions to the lovely people, the supportive people, and the wonderfully attractive people that have been involved this year, and people who I have met, and took a liking to. And the people that I may not have met, but still took a liking to.

Warning: I will use NO grammar in this. And its left up to the computer to change things automatically.

So much love going out to Anna fur laxis for being there, Beatrix von bourbon for being so wonderful in general, honey wilde for being her, Gordon mix for being my favourite american ever and for putting up with me, ryvita von cheese for being a bit mental, amelie soleil for being a geek and for being the only one to match how much I can send in an email, diva Hollywood for being just so damn lovely, frank at flag promotions for putting me on at so many shit gigs but continued to do it none the less, the folk of birdeatsbaby for dealing with my tour angst and for having me along, cherry deville for having me at her house so damn much, david cooper and darren tipper at the kings theatre for allowing me to put on a beautiful show of my own, red sarah for being so supportive and giving me booze I couldn’t handle at 3 in the morning, ophelia bitz for being a dirty trollop who I love dearly and snuggled with in a kigu suit, duke special for making the effort to keep in touch even though he an incredibly busy and talented man, dusty limits for being a drunken sex pest and a brilliantly talented one at that, linda Robertson for writing my favourite book ever and signing it for me and singing with me in london, dolores delight for not hitting me when I pick on her for being in my parents are aliens, vicky butterfly for endless chatting and for being so damn lovely and supportive and cute, clutterfly jewellery for making beautiful things and for the modelling opportunity and for being the nicest damn people ever, missy macabre and the baron and not being put off that first time I met you when I was drunk and insisted me and dolly divine weren‘t ripping off your act and for continuing to be there and especially missy for getting me that chine curry that probably gave me food poison, chrys columbine for being the mouthiest beauty that has ever walked this earth, david mccomb for being incredibly supportive and for being the wonderful editor of bizarre and walking me through Camden completely off my face at 1 in the morning to deliver a keyboard to chrys columbine, des O’Connor for letting me guest at your Edinburgh fringe show and for being so damn kind towards me ever since, kitten deville for being not only utterly hilarious to spend time with but also being so damn beautiful, dolly divine for the ups and downs we‘ve been through, peski deville for brightening the room with your very presence, ben giddins aka mr mistress for being so seductive on stage and for letting me stay in your house in London to avoid being stuck on the streets. And…. Er EVERYONE ELSE!!
Every person that has ever taken the time to listen, to watch, or to come see live, to clap, cheer, and woop.
Every promoter that has ever booked me, and given me money to do what I love most.
Every company that has offered me money to do porn, that I have declined. (add another 0 to your offer. And we can talk. *wink* oooerrr)
Every… EVERYTHING.

There we go.

Thank you for such a beautiful 2009.
THE END! (of the thank you part.)

Carry on reading if you want to read my rambling,
Stop now if you don’t want to read it!

*AHEM*

So….

At the end of 2008, I was working in a hotel as a night receptionist.
Now, at the end of 2009 - I’m working full time as a performer…
What a fucking change that is to a lifestyle?!

I feel so luck to be able to call it my full time occupation now…
In education they drill it into your head that its practically impossible to get a completely creative job, or a job in things such as acting, music, drama etc etc
But AHA!!! I DID!! FUCK YOU EDUCATION SYSTEM!!!!

I have a few things I’d like to put in this blog. And one of them is how different things are when you get older… which kind of relates to the education thing I suppose… so yeah. Here goes.

It’s only lately that I’ve realised how much of a difference age seems to make…
facebook of all the things, made me realise this.
My profile has a great number of 14/15/16 year olds, which is fine. Teenagers I’ve met, who come to shows, enjoy what I do etc etc etc
But from having these people, and their friends on my friends list - I’ve come to witness arguments, issues and boatloads of angst.
All of which seems to come in bulk loads at Christmas time.
Such issues as “OH MY GOD! My boyfriend is seeing his family at Christmas!!? Does this mean he thinks im ugly and fat?!” and “ZOMG. Ain‘t eating none of this Christmas food, I‘m a size zero model bitch!!” (they‘re not a model. They‘re 15. And too lazy to leave their computer)
I’m in my twenties (THERE I SAID IT!!!! FUCK SAKE.) and I know fine well, I was actually kind of like that at that age…. It doesn’t seem like that many years difference? But bloody hell. How things have changed!?
I’m still a moody rant fuelled one. But possibly with less angst?!
Just as neurotic though.

I have no particular point with this, only that it relates to what changes with time.
And how quickly it seems to happen.
How far I have gotten in 2009, seems like the kind of thing that should have taken longer… but hey ho. Its happened now. And I’m very happy about it (been a good few years of performing anyway. But I still thought it would take longer…)

But as a personal growth from being the angst filled 15 year old, to where I am now - I didn’t see it happen? Was it gradual? Did I just wake up one day a changed person? I’m not sure.
How things change… that’s my point.
Yep.
Yep… that’s exactly where I was going…

ANYWAY
Lets change the subject. *hits mallet*

New year, news beginnings, blah blah blah blah blah.
You know the drill!

I promise that I will work my hardest in 2010. Always try my best etc etc
It’s nice to have a guideline. But if you have a tick list. It makes it seem less natural, and more forced….
I’ve found resolutions put you off.
So just take the new year as a new slate maybe? And just live for the moment!
CARPE DIEM!!
CARPE DIEM!!

SAY IT WITH ME?!

CARPE DIEM!!!!!

Did you say it out loud?
Try it. Seriously.

Carp - eh - dee - em.

2010 is a new slate. Yep.
Much love,
The last love of 2009 from me….
Joe Black <3

i’ve had them for a while, but only JUST got round to sorting them out online!

size - SMALL is the only one readily available! as the rest sold out on tour.

this a picture of the design on the shirt -

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=200748588&albumID=1897337&imageID=35919190

i have a very minimal amount of mediums left,
so if you’re interested in a medium send an email to - joe_black_music@hotmail.co.uk
saying you’d like a medium, and the first handful of people to do that can buy that size, and given details on how to do so!

as i would rather not have to faff about with people paying, then finding out there’s none left!

its just to make sure things are still there!

those of you who would like a small…
please send 15 english pounds via paypal (this includes postage and packaging)

to -

joe_black_music@hotmail.co.uk

i look forward to sending you things made of cotton

much love,
Joe Black!

just a quick note!
such a huge amount of shows coming up, so i thought i would direct your attention to the myspace calendar -

www.myspace.com/misterjoeblack

as thats the calendar that gets alllllll the updates

lots of exciting things to announce soon, but as of yet - i’ve been told to keep them under my top hat.

much love, and kittens
JB

x

As i type this, i’m sat on my bed in my lovely seaside home, chewing a cane i’ve been dancing about with a lot lately! (both on stage, and around the house)
Lots of lovely things coming up!

Flying to Berlin this weekend to perform at the wonderful ‘La Fete Fatale’ cabaret show at The Bang Bang Club,
i’m very excited - I adore Berlin <3

So yes yes, upcoming shows -

August 22nd - La Fete Fatale @ The Bang Bang Club - Berlin, Germany

September 2nd - Maleficent Video Launch Party @ The Barfly - London, UK

September 4th - Trailer Trash Cabaret: Comic Book Special @ The Komedia Theatre - Brighton, UK

September 5th = DJ Set - Torture Garden @ Mass - London, UK

Loads more in September, but i thought overloading would be a bad thing!
For full dates go to www.myspace.com/misterjoeblack

Rightyho. I’m going to go back to cane chewing.

I love you all,
Joe Black

x

The Kings Theatre -
Albert Road, Southsea, Portsmouth, Hants. PO5 2QJ

August 14th
7:30pm
Tickets £8.00
Box Office: 023 9282 8282 - Group Tickets: 023 9285 2208

ages 16+
unless accompanied by an adult

Presenting….

Your host for the evening…
‘BIZARRE MAGAZINES’ ALIX ‘FOXY’ FOX!

For one night only, leaving her pigeon hole at ‘Bizarre Magazine’ towers, to present to you an evening of unforgettable entertainment!

She is known to be a pun demon, wreaking pun-demonium.
A cunning linguist. If all the world’s a stage, then she’s putting on a play on words.
Yes, she’s the pun-lovin’ criminal - double meanings and twisted sentences are what she does.
You have been warned.

Performances from…

VICKY BUTTERFLY

Part Burlesque starlet, part innovative performance artiste, part music hall Vaudevillian, and all dreamer. But don’t be fooled by her impish allure -

Vicky Butterfly’s elegant, classic style comes with a twist.

The daughter of an Irish showgirl and an eccentric Viennese aristocrat, her shows reflect her unusual background, with clouds of butterflies that fly out from her clothes as she hovers en Pointe. True to the original spirit of Burlesque and Vaudeville, her beautifully choreographed routines take in everything from the ethereal, the breath-taking and the beautiful to the macabre and the comic.

She is a Carnival Queen with a show-stopping 17” corseted waist, a doll, a butterfly, a peacock, a swan, a silver-screen siren, a living Klimt painting, a sorcerer - and anything her imagination can create.

Always in demand internationally, she has an enviable roster of clients (including Roberto Cavalli and the Paris Ritz)

She can frequently be seen gracing the pages of the worlds magazines, dancing her way through music videos and stadium projections by top bands (including The Verve, Kings of Leon and Paul Weller) and adding her unique style to film-sets as far away as Bollywood!

DOLORES DELIGHT

‘A real life Jessica Rabbit if ever there was one. Dolores Delight is a high-kicking, song-belting, sizzling showgirl with spunk!’ - Bizarre Magazine

At only 60 inches tall, Dolores is a sultry pocket sized cabaret siren with a voice to raise the roof with her versatile look, glamorous and eclectic wardrobe and enigmatic voice.

Born and raised in a small town (just north of nowhere), Dolores Delight taught herself to sing by listening to her grandfather’s collection of old jazz records whilst dreaming of one day being a movie star like Rita Hayworth.

Dolores was classically trained in dance from a very young age and has spent over half her lifetime working as a professional actress on television, film and in West End theatre. Miss Delight has not only danced with The Royal Ballet and recorded at the world famous Abbey Road Studios but she has delighted audiences at The Cannes Film Festival, The London Palladium, The Royal Albert Hall and even Buckingham Palace too!

With a large repertoire of songs ranging from Billie Holiday to Ella Fitzerald and Chicago to Cabaret, there’s no way you could ever tire of listening to this sultry songstress as she takes you through the classics but with her unique style of rock ‘n roll attitude with ‘old school’ charm.

BEATRIX VON BOURBON

“Star Attraction” - News of the World

Juxtaposing bad girl beauty with a sensitive soul, Beatrix Von Bourbon is an incomparable performer. A tattooed philosopher and crystal-encrusted dream-weaver, her acts have graced distinguished, international stages. Simultaneously vogue and timeless she is an award winning performer and pin-up model.

Beatrix plays with genre, drawing inspiration from popular culture, classic love stories, contemporary technology and fairytale imagery to create

inventive, modern entertainment. Her colourful acts drip with charisma and charm, leaving audiences thoughtful and refreshed.

ANNA FUR LAXIS

Anna Fur Laxis / anaphylaxis (anǎ-fuh-laks-is) n. an abnormal reaction to a particular antigen,
e.g. an initially localized allergic attack progressing to widespread histamine release causing excessive swelling of the tissues,
breathing difficulties, heart failure, circulatory collapse and sometimes death. – anaphylactic adj.;

“More than mortal man deserves, Anna’s timeless beauty and saucy antics evoke a classic era of unashamed femininity, whilst her stunning performances and innovative costumes leave no doubt that we are most certainly in the 21st century.” ~ Dr. Brad E. Cardia

A full-time Superhero Hausfrau who’s superpowers entail constantly getting into scrapes for which the only solution is to take off her clothes. Generally found with a cup of Earl Grey tea in one hand and a French Fancy in the other, her interests include adding to her portfolio of housewifely skills and mincing around in rubber and pencil skirts. Or rubber pencil skirts.

JOE BLACK

‘Here’s ROAR talent, that’ll really GROW(L) on you!’ - Bizarre Magazine

“Neo-Cabaret sensation” - Dusty Limits

“Theatrical, funny and never afraid to cross the boundaries of good taste” - Matt Merritt, callupontheauthor.com

The neo-vaudevillian, the real life Disney villain,
the gin-addled courtesan, the anti-christ of cabaret and the one and only waltzing cynic…
Eccentric to international stages, Joe Black takes to shows in an almost cartoon-esque musical assault,
sweeping the audience through deathly showtunes, stomping polkas and heart wrenching ballads.

Though seemingly unable to fit into any particular category, Joe Black has shared a stage with many notable names from different stretches of performance,
musical acts such as Amy Winehouse, Gary Numan, My Bloody Valentine, St Vincent, Noah And The Whale, Hadouken and Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly
and those, of a more performance art and cabaret nature, such as Empress Stah, Dusty Limits, Anna Fur Laxis, Beatrix Von Bourbon, Vicky Butterfly, Scottee, Des O’Connor and many more.

With a huge array of events, such as Torture Garden, Bestival, The Edinburgh Fringe Festival and so many more under his belt…

Mister Joe Black (armed with an accordion, a piano, and a voice with force like no other),
Is ready to give you a show, that years of therapy couldn’t even help you forget.

We’re very concerned…

CHILD POISON - SILENT MOVIE PROJECTIONS

They are quite frankly, absurd…

This mysterious, ever costumed duo,
will leave you shocked, appalled and perhaps even a little aroused!
So put your tongues in your cheeks, hold on to your wives,
and prepare for a series of silent movies that will leave you questioning… well…everything.

(CHECK VENUES FOR AGE LIMITS

NOTE: I WILL BE OPENING MOST OF THESE NIGHTS, SO BE SURE TO ARRIVE EARLY!

18th June – The Fat Fox - Portsmouth

22nd June – The Shed - Leicester

23rd June – The Cobden Club - London

25th June – Bar Bloc - Glasgow

26th June – The Cotton Tree - Manchester

27th June – The New Tavern - Wigan

3rd July – - Landbouwbelang - Maastricht, Netherlands

4th July – Cantada II - Paris, France

8th July – Subway to Peter Club - Chemnitz, Germany

10th July - HOSPODA POD KAPLIČKOU - Nahorany, Czech Republic

13th July – Diwaldo Music Club - Prievidza, Slovakia

15th July – The Chelsea - Vienna, Austria

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=200748588&blogId=489749690

I hope everyone has been well!
I’ve been very busy, which is both a curse, and a blessing.

Love

JB
x

so head over there, and give me some lovin’!

www.myspace.com/misterjoeblack

I also have a facebook group, just search for Joe Black,
you may even find my own page… which is reserved for offensive status updates, and moaning! waheeeey.

I love you, and your face. ESPECIALLY YOUR FACE

Love always,
Mr Black

x

ps - we need more lemon pledge *sad face*