A year ago, I stopped to smoke
Because I would begin to choke
I couldn’t run, or go upstairs
Instead I’d pant and sit in chairs
I’ve not saved money, that’s still gone
Because It’s spent on Comme Des Garçons
And instead of tobacco, I used my cash
On building up a Blu-ray stash
So I watch my films, and tv shows
Without smoke breaks in my fancy clothes
Though I won’t quit coffee, I’ll never try
For without caffeine I’d rather die
Here I am after years of not putting any long form writing online, returning with news. I also return with the intention of using my own website blog because why am I paying for a website if I don’t actually USE IT?! I have also started a Substack for people that way inclined, and will likely be the same things as on www.misterjoeblack.com - for now.
So if Substack is your proverbial bag you can - CLICK HERE (SUBSCRIBE! - ITS FREE!)
Not a clue how to use it, but I’ll give it a damn good go.
I originally started writing this from one of my favourite cafe’s in Brighton, noise cancelling headphones on listening to Bjork, while a very large and very handsome dog watches over the room from his spot on the floor like some kind of furry emperor. So you know I’m serious about this.
I’m absolutely thrilled to say I’ve been awarded an Arts Council England ‘Develop Your Creative Practice’ grant (DYCP to its friends). This is a grant for personal growth and not to do with any particular or specific project outside of the artist themselves. Funds are awarded to assist the artist to grow and learn and expand and sometimes basically just figure shit out.
How exactly I’ll be doing that, give the below a read for some insight. If you’ve started reading this and thought ‘I’d love a video version’ then assuming I’ve actually made it, that can be found - HERE
Also - nice excuse for a photoshoot. Flex the creative muscles with a camera, self timer and a dream
Back towards the end of last year, with the help of the fantastic Adam Carver assisting on application support - I applied for arts council funding for the first time ever. 18 years of wading the soiled waters of entertainment and never have I applied for funding or a grant, because I thought it wasn’t really for people like me. Turns out, it very much is.
I’d always managed to just make things work with whatever resources I had, not trying to exist outside of my current means and gambling with no finances. When I’d toured and paid for it myself I didn’t set up massive overheads expecting to get it back. Anything I may have lost would have been able to be covered with whatever I had - or that the bar for ticket sales was set so low it was a level of risk that would have been so unlikely to not be a hit financially.
On an artistic level I always thought of myself and what I do as too frivolous and unimportant in the grand scheme of things to ‘deserve’ funding. I thought that was for people who had something really hard hitting to say and a really important message to deliver, or simply something so completely out there it just wouldn’t happen without backing. I now know thats absolutely not the case and that yes, it is possible to put the fun into funding - even if your aspirations include becoming the village idiot.
Over the past few years things have changed quite a lot, both professionally and personally.
The impact of that has been that it threw me sideways on exactly what it was I did and who I was as an artist and a performer. A multitude of confusing and conflicting expectations being set (or at least highly) suggested from different areas, the culmination of this just resulting in me shutting down completely and I stopped creating and playing with things how I used to, because I didn’t know what my output was anymore. Combined with my long overdue emotional breakdown at the beginning of 2024, things were not feeling perky!
I had got put in a position where I was just expected to DO. There wasn’t room or space for experimentation or playing around or testing things to audiences, as I wasn’t really on stages where I could just TRY - I had to do the actual thing. What I needed was time to relearn who I am and what I do and put things into perspective again. So when I heard about the existence of the arts council DYCP (Develop Your Creative Practice) that lit a fire under my belly again.
What if I could get some money to go towards learning theatre practices and writing for stage techniques for myself? Which I’ve never had. Everything I do on stage is self taught. I studied film in college and didn’t even finish that because - depression.
So over the next few months I’ll be embarking on one to one mentoring sessions, lessons and research trips to make my art really come alive again and to rediscover myself, because I know I can do it - I just needed that little bit of extra help to get the dust off and the cogs oiled. Which is how applying to this was explained to me when I said I wasn’t sure I’d be a good fit - because I’ve made do as it is. I was told that’s why you could and should feel like you can ask for the help, because you’ve shown what you can do without it and this gives the chance to see what you can do with it.
So where is the money going you’re thinking? Nosey fuckers.
It goes to pay the artists I’m working with, it goes on tickets and travel to see shows by artists, it pays someone to give me detailed feedback on work, it pays someone to direct test material, it pays someone to help me improve how to tell a story, it pays someone to talk to me about expanding production values, it pays for venue hire, it pays for studio hire, it pays the hourly rate to have someone do physical theatre with me, it also really wonderfully - pays me to do these things.
Every person involved is properly compensated and that feels GREAT. Never before have I had an allocated amount of money to pay people to impart their wisdom and have them work with me in that capacity.
I’m going to attempt to keep some kind of public update system going on this, as I think it’ll be nice to see whats been happening. Though also it’s a great way for me to be able to reflect on what it is I have done and learnt so far, by having to frame it for public consumption. My whole reason for writing this is to make myself accountable by announcing it to the world. So that when I see people out and about they can go ‘how is the project going?’ And I can say ‘well, it’s not technically a project its a DYCP but yes its going well thank you’ and then they can ask more questions and I can say ‘please stop talking to me I’m trying to make notes about my week on my DYCP while listening to Bjork in this cafe.’
To give a more in depth example and why - One of the parts I’m most excited about is to study some physical theatre techniques, to help me really get back in touch with my physicality on stage.
Over the past few years I’ve felt myself not pay as much attention to what my body is doing while I’m on stage. I’m just kind of… there? I feel like I’ve lost that oomph in how I hold myself. Or at least I’ve just stopped considering it because I’ve gotten so used to whatever it is I’m doing. Either way, it needs a shake up. Physical theatre lessons would never be something I’d consider otherwise, but given this opportunity - it is one of the most important parts for me, to delve just that bit deeper into something I wouldn’t usually consider.
The past few days we’ve been sorting out the flat, both for physical space reasons but also symbolic reasons - clear the space and rid yourself of things that you no longer need or want to make room for a refresh. Clear the cobwebs, wipe away the dust.
While clearing out the day of finishing writing this I found some folders and books containing the lyrics to some songs I wrote that never came to fruition, or ones that I did so long ago I forgot they even existed. And ya know what, they’re great fun.
Coming back to them with a fresh set of eyes and perspective is really inspiring because I’m reminded I am very capable of making new original work. I’m capable of writing something great and throwing it in a drawer to not read it again for 8 years. Though I am also capable of bringing these ideas to life again, I just need a little bit of a hand.
Very excited to see where this leads.
Expect the unexpected I suppose? Maybe I’ll become a physical theatre person. Though thats unlikely, I enjoy saying words too much. Who knows what nonsense I’ll create for the online sphere!? Either way, when you’re thinking ‘What is wrong with that man?!’ you can blame the arts council for encouraging me.
Thanks Arts Council England (ACE to it’s friends), you’ve made me feel ready again.
Love,
Joe
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